A smile tugged at the edges of my pink lips, my brown eyes sparkling as they melted into his green ones, the rosy blush that burned my cheeks growing brighter as he leaned closer, pressing his forehead to mine. This was one of those moments where everything seemed perfect. Nothing in the world could ever hurt me as long as I had him...and nothing could separate me from him. He was perfect in so many ways, I couldn't even list them all in my head.
"I love you." I breathed, my voice barely audible. I knew he could hear me, though. We just..understood each other. We didn't have to say anything when we were together. We already knew all there was to know. I wished this moment would last forever.
And then the moment his lips touched mine, my mind went completely blank. This happened every time he kissed me, and he'd kissed me many times before...but it still took my breath away and there was still no possible way to think about anything. And when he pulled away, I had to take a deep breath, smiling so big I thought my jaw might break.
"And I love you, Emma." I heard him whisper, pulling me into tight hug, his arms around my waist and mine around his neck. The perfect moment. Just thinking about it made me smile. My mother had constantly found me staring into space, my head cocked to the side, and a wide smile placed upon my face. She didn't have to ask what I was thinking about anymore. It was always him.
I pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my head on my knees and smiling brightly, letting out a little giddy, childish giggle. I'd really never been this happy in my life. I constantly replayed that moment in my head. Just last week actually. He'd come to see me on my birthday, and the nurses had allowed him to take me to the beach. It was absolutely wonderful. Most definitely the best day of my life. I just wished there would be more of those. I didn't even know how much longer I had.
Yes, I am absolutely, positively, completely, madly and overwhelmingly in love.
What's the catch?
I've got Cancer.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Green Envy
"We all know you like him, why don't you tell him?" Ana's voice came from over my shoulder and I pulled my heavy science book from the top shelf of my narrow school locker, rolling my brown eyes impatiently.
"We also all know that he doesn't like me, Ana." I mumbled, not wanting to talk about him today. Not wanting to think about him...but that was impossible. He always came to mind, whether I was thinking about what I ate for lunch, or how my turtle died two years ago. He was always there. At first I'd thought it was normal considering he was a crush, and most girls did obsess over their crushes...but it never went away. No matter how much I told myself I was over him, no matter how many girlfriends he had. He was always there. I turned to face Ana, tucking a piece of too-long brown hair behind my ear and hugging my science book tightly to my chest.
"He totally likes you, Klaudia." She said, folding her arms across her graceful torso and giving me a look.
"Ana, he has a girlfriend." I snapped, slamming my locker behind me and giving her a fierce look. We gave each other these looks all the time. Everyone knew we were never mad at each other. It was a way of telling each other we were 100% serious. For real. However you wanna put that. She looked at me for a second and then burst into laughter, leaning against my locker for support and laughing harder. I giggled a little bit, rolling my deep brown eyes again and elbowing her in the ribs, only making her laugh harder.
"Ana!" I giggled, shaking my head and walking off as she continued to laugh. Ana was crazy, but she was practically my sister. We told each other everything and were constantly together. I marched down the hallway, laughing under my breath and clutching my science book tightly. I really had to learn to get some courage. I wanted to tell him, but then he might avoid me or something. I just wanted to wait until he made the move. I was too...scared I guess.
I hadn't realized I wasn't watching where I was going until I felt my feet fly out from under me and my small body land on the dirty tile with a thump. I heard laughs all around me, I felt a flush creep across my pale skin, slowly covering every little freckle on my face. I took a deep breath, glancing around for my science book and not seeing it anywhere, starting to freak out.
"Missing something?" I heard behind me, and I turned around and looked up to see him. He was standing there looking at me with a sort of humored expression, chuckling lightly to himself, holding out a hand, and I realized the other hand held my science book. I took the hand not holding my heavy peice of learning equipment (learning equipment? Why did my mind always go buzerk when I was around him?!), and stood up clumsily, trying not to fall again. He handed me my science book, and I bit my lip, wishing my fiery red cheeks would subside to their normal rosy color.
"Thanks, Jesse." I muttered, realizing I was probably blushing even more now. Everyone was staring at me like I was some kind of a freak as they passed by, and I looked down in shame. Everyone thought I was a freak...not that it changed anything. I was already the weird girl. I barely had any friends, and the friends I did have, were only my friends because I was so easy to push around. I never stood up for myself. I was independent and confident on the outside...but on the inside..I was just a scared little girl. No one seemed to see that. Whatever. I looked down, trying to avoid his big green eyes, and then I realized I hadn't let go of his hand. I quickly released it and looked up at him nervously.
"No problem." He said, his perfect crooked smile spreading across his features. I couldn't help but smile at that. He was really something.
"Hey." I heard her perky, feminine voice behind him and resisted the urge to roll my chocolate brown eyes. Of course she had to ruin the moment. She always did. I bit my lip tightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, looking like she was about to attack his face. Now that was messed up. I didn't even bother to say goodbye. I just turned and walked down the hallway and to first period, my feet dragging. What a horrible start to my day.
"We also all know that he doesn't like me, Ana." I mumbled, not wanting to talk about him today. Not wanting to think about him...but that was impossible. He always came to mind, whether I was thinking about what I ate for lunch, or how my turtle died two years ago. He was always there. At first I'd thought it was normal considering he was a crush, and most girls did obsess over their crushes...but it never went away. No matter how much I told myself I was over him, no matter how many girlfriends he had. He was always there. I turned to face Ana, tucking a piece of too-long brown hair behind my ear and hugging my science book tightly to my chest.
"He totally likes you, Klaudia." She said, folding her arms across her graceful torso and giving me a look.
"Ana, he has a girlfriend." I snapped, slamming my locker behind me and giving her a fierce look. We gave each other these looks all the time. Everyone knew we were never mad at each other. It was a way of telling each other we were 100% serious. For real. However you wanna put that. She looked at me for a second and then burst into laughter, leaning against my locker for support and laughing harder. I giggled a little bit, rolling my deep brown eyes again and elbowing her in the ribs, only making her laugh harder.
"Ana!" I giggled, shaking my head and walking off as she continued to laugh. Ana was crazy, but she was practically my sister. We told each other everything and were constantly together. I marched down the hallway, laughing under my breath and clutching my science book tightly. I really had to learn to get some courage. I wanted to tell him, but then he might avoid me or something. I just wanted to wait until he made the move. I was too...scared I guess.
I hadn't realized I wasn't watching where I was going until I felt my feet fly out from under me and my small body land on the dirty tile with a thump. I heard laughs all around me, I felt a flush creep across my pale skin, slowly covering every little freckle on my face. I took a deep breath, glancing around for my science book and not seeing it anywhere, starting to freak out.
"Missing something?" I heard behind me, and I turned around and looked up to see him. He was standing there looking at me with a sort of humored expression, chuckling lightly to himself, holding out a hand, and I realized the other hand held my science book. I took the hand not holding my heavy peice of learning equipment (learning equipment? Why did my mind always go buzerk when I was around him?!), and stood up clumsily, trying not to fall again. He handed me my science book, and I bit my lip, wishing my fiery red cheeks would subside to their normal rosy color.
"Thanks, Jesse." I muttered, realizing I was probably blushing even more now. Everyone was staring at me like I was some kind of a freak as they passed by, and I looked down in shame. Everyone thought I was a freak...not that it changed anything. I was already the weird girl. I barely had any friends, and the friends I did have, were only my friends because I was so easy to push around. I never stood up for myself. I was independent and confident on the outside...but on the inside..I was just a scared little girl. No one seemed to see that. Whatever. I looked down, trying to avoid his big green eyes, and then I realized I hadn't let go of his hand. I quickly released it and looked up at him nervously.
"No problem." He said, his perfect crooked smile spreading across his features. I couldn't help but smile at that. He was really something.
"Hey." I heard her perky, feminine voice behind him and resisted the urge to roll my chocolate brown eyes. Of course she had to ruin the moment. She always did. I bit my lip tightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, looking like she was about to attack his face. Now that was messed up. I didn't even bother to say goodbye. I just turned and walked down the hallway and to first period, my feet dragging. What a horrible start to my day.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Silenced Love
My long bronze hair swung behind me as I took off down the hallway, the warning bell sounding and my heart thumping faster. Crap. What else could go wrong today? I woke up an hour late, missed my ride to school, had to run through the pouring rain two miles, and had soiled my entire outfit. I looked like I'd come straight out of one of those horror movies. But of course, before I could even question if anything might go wrong, I saw a little peice of paper taped to the front of my locker. I got notes from friends all the time, but they usually stuck them inside the locker. Smart, eh? So I was curious. I ripped the folded peice of composition paper from my dull red locker and opened it quickly, emerald eyes widening as I read the familiar, sloppy handwriting.
Ana,
Sorry but I can't do this anymore.
We gotta break up.
-Todd
It was scribbled like he'd wrote it fast too. What the hell? Of course. Of COURSE! I slammed my head against the locker which made a loud thunking noise, and then yelped as I realized I probably would have a bruise right in the middle of my forehead. Great, just great. I twisted in my combination with shaking hands, trying to keep the tears from coming. Who breaks up in a note? Taped to the front of my locker? Apparently Todd. I tried not to think of him, and yanked open the locker, grabbing my stuff angrily, and yelping when my heavy history book landed on my foot. I jumped away from the book and bit my lip tightly, clenching my fists furiously. Seriously? I leaned over to pick up the book and heard something behind me. When I stood back up...that was when I heard it.
"Having some trouble?"
It was a boy's voice. Someone about my age, 16 or older, and he sounded like he was making fun of me. I whirled around to yell at who ever it was that dared make my morning even worse than it already was, and was startled to see that...there was no one. Great. So now you hearing things. I sighed, trying to tell myself that it was nothing and turning around to walk to my first period.
"Why in such a hurry?"
I jumped when I heard the voice again, whipping my head around to glare at whoever was playing this cruel joke on me. It was not one bit funny.
"Get the hell away from me." I muttered, turning back around, not bothering to smooth the peice of damp fiery red hair that had blocked my view on my right ride.
Then I felt it. The gentlest touch, it felt like...the wind...but it was something...and it touched my shoulder. Like someone had put a hand on my shoulder.
"Wh-" I slowly turned around, and screamed when I saw him. What the heck? Was I going crazy now?! A transparent, floating....guy! He was dressed in a Tye-Die T-shirt and bell bottom jeans. Obviously straight out of the 70's. Oh.My.Gosh. Now I was seeing things. Was I dreaming?
"shhh!" I heard him mutter, putting a finger to his lips. I tried to slow my breathing as he gestured me to follow him into an empty classroom, and I hesitated. Should I follow him? I must've been dreaming, so it was okay. Why not elongate the adventure? So I followed him, my whole body shaking. When I walked into the classroom, he looked at me. He didn't look scary. He looked...like a normal kid. He had soft hazel eyes and a full head of curly dark hair, and he looked rather...scared? Why was he scared? I was the one going crazy. Honestly!
"I'm sorry if I scared you." He muttered, looking ashamed of himself, like he had no idea what he was doing. Then I saw something that scared me most. On the front of his tye-die shirt, he had blood stains...bright red blood stains that at first I had just thought they were part of his shirt. But now that we were alone and I wasn't in so much shock...I could see. It scared the crap out of me! Wake me up from this nightmare! I wanted to run away but I was too frozen with fear.
"Who-" before I could finish asking my question I choked, trying to catch my breath and then looking at him again, trying to concentrate on his..rather handsome face. I finally mustered up the courage to talk.
"Who are you?" I said, my teeth latching onto my lower lip tightly, my body still trembling. He studied me for a second, taking in every detail of my very unflattering appearance. I saw him chuckle to himself which only made me more angry, and then folded my arms across my chest. I wasn't afraid of him. He wasn't going to hurt me. He didn't look like a very scary person, and didn't sound like one either.
"I'm William." He finally said, walking closer to me. I could see the rest of the room...through him. And this was really creeping me out. "Call me Will." He muttered, looking at the ground resting a hand on the desk next to where I stood.
He looked at me like he expected an answer. His brilliantly bright eyes shining curiously as he looked at me.
"Yeah, I'm dead." He muttered, rolling his eyes and giving me a crooked smile. I felt little butterflies in my stomach at this, and questioned myself. Was I getting butterflies from...a...no. I wouldn't say it. I was dreaming. This wasn't real. If it was, I was late for history and was completely screwed. And then I remembered I'd left my books laying in the middle of the hallway.
Shit.
To be added to!! :D
Ana,
Sorry but I can't do this anymore.
We gotta break up.
-Todd
It was scribbled like he'd wrote it fast too. What the hell? Of course. Of COURSE! I slammed my head against the locker which made a loud thunking noise, and then yelped as I realized I probably would have a bruise right in the middle of my forehead. Great, just great. I twisted in my combination with shaking hands, trying to keep the tears from coming. Who breaks up in a note? Taped to the front of my locker? Apparently Todd. I tried not to think of him, and yanked open the locker, grabbing my stuff angrily, and yelping when my heavy history book landed on my foot. I jumped away from the book and bit my lip tightly, clenching my fists furiously. Seriously? I leaned over to pick up the book and heard something behind me. When I stood back up...that was when I heard it.
"Having some trouble?"
It was a boy's voice. Someone about my age, 16 or older, and he sounded like he was making fun of me. I whirled around to yell at who ever it was that dared make my morning even worse than it already was, and was startled to see that...there was no one. Great. So now you hearing things. I sighed, trying to tell myself that it was nothing and turning around to walk to my first period.
"Why in such a hurry?"
I jumped when I heard the voice again, whipping my head around to glare at whoever was playing this cruel joke on me. It was not one bit funny.
"Get the hell away from me." I muttered, turning back around, not bothering to smooth the peice of damp fiery red hair that had blocked my view on my right ride.
Then I felt it. The gentlest touch, it felt like...the wind...but it was something...and it touched my shoulder. Like someone had put a hand on my shoulder.
"Wh-" I slowly turned around, and screamed when I saw him. What the heck? Was I going crazy now?! A transparent, floating....guy! He was dressed in a Tye-Die T-shirt and bell bottom jeans. Obviously straight out of the 70's. Oh.My.Gosh. Now I was seeing things. Was I dreaming?
"shhh!" I heard him mutter, putting a finger to his lips. I tried to slow my breathing as he gestured me to follow him into an empty classroom, and I hesitated. Should I follow him? I must've been dreaming, so it was okay. Why not elongate the adventure? So I followed him, my whole body shaking. When I walked into the classroom, he looked at me. He didn't look scary. He looked...like a normal kid. He had soft hazel eyes and a full head of curly dark hair, and he looked rather...scared? Why was he scared? I was the one going crazy. Honestly!
"I'm sorry if I scared you." He muttered, looking ashamed of himself, like he had no idea what he was doing. Then I saw something that scared me most. On the front of his tye-die shirt, he had blood stains...bright red blood stains that at first I had just thought they were part of his shirt. But now that we were alone and I wasn't in so much shock...I could see. It scared the crap out of me! Wake me up from this nightmare! I wanted to run away but I was too frozen with fear.
"Who-" before I could finish asking my question I choked, trying to catch my breath and then looking at him again, trying to concentrate on his..rather handsome face. I finally mustered up the courage to talk.
"Who are you?" I said, my teeth latching onto my lower lip tightly, my body still trembling. He studied me for a second, taking in every detail of my very unflattering appearance. I saw him chuckle to himself which only made me more angry, and then folded my arms across my chest. I wasn't afraid of him. He wasn't going to hurt me. He didn't look like a very scary person, and didn't sound like one either.
"I'm William." He finally said, walking closer to me. I could see the rest of the room...through him. And this was really creeping me out. "Call me Will." He muttered, looking at the ground resting a hand on the desk next to where I stood.
He looked at me like he expected an answer. His brilliantly bright eyes shining curiously as he looked at me.
"Yeah, I'm dead." He muttered, rolling his eyes and giving me a crooked smile. I felt little butterflies in my stomach at this, and questioned myself. Was I getting butterflies from...a...no. I wouldn't say it. I was dreaming. This wasn't real. If it was, I was late for history and was completely screwed. And then I remembered I'd left my books laying in the middle of the hallway.
Shit.
To be added to!! :D
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Just a small town girl!
I stared out the window, my hands pressed up against the icy cold glass as the rain poured down from the heavens, splashing into the huge puddles it'd already produced. We were a small town family...I'd lived in this stupid place all my life and never thought I'd ever be able to get out. Yeah...Don't stop believin'? I don't think so. I stopped believing a while ago. I sighed, turning and staring ahead of me, realizing I couldn't just sit here in the car on the side of the road. People had begun honking when they drove by, because one would have to slow down to get past me. I rolled my chocolate brown eyes, shaking my head and placing my freezing hands on the steering wheel. High School was life, I guess. In the middle of the winter, when New Jersey froze up and was covered with blankets of snow and thin sheets of ice, I had begun to hate school. I really hated living in this lonesome town. I wanted to get out..do something with my life...explore the world. I couldn't wait for my senior year of high school to be over already. Half way through...I could get through this...right?
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