Breezes

The light breeze ruffled my muddy brown mane, sending chills down my bare forearms. I hugged myself tightly as another blast of frigid air ruffled my hair around my face. My dark brown eyes fixed upon the melted sky; purples, pinks and oranges; all mixed into a mess of colors called the sunset. The roof was cold, and I could see little patches of ice scattered across the rough black expanse around me. It was dangerous sitting up here in this cold, with nothing dark jeans and a navy blue pepsi T-shirt to keep me warm, but I didn't care. This was my way of making things better. Sure, I was freezing my butt off, but I'd get used to it eventually. I could sit up here for hours and it'd feel like minutes to me. It was my thinking place. When I was little I thought it was magic. I'd found I could climb to this part of the roof from my window when I was 5 years old. And if I fell, I'd simply fall onto the little balcony next to my room window. It wasn't too dangerous. It was possible to fall though; and it'd probably hurt. When I was little, I'd sit out here for what seemed like hours, and go inside and realize it'd only been a few minutes. I swore to myself that this place was magic.

Ha. I wanna write more, but I ran outta time. MOre later. Maybe.

Who would you choose?

If you had to choose one and only one person to spend forever with...who would you choose? You and whomever..against nothing. Because there wasn't a world anymore. And you were chosen to live? It's sounds silly, but this is my reality. I never really thought that something like this could happen. It all happened in books and movies and..stuff like that, but when it became my life..everything changed. Of course everything changed. When your around someone and only them...forever...it's not easy. No matter how much you love them. So let's start from the beginning. A normal, lonely day of high school. Oh joy.
I'd woken up that morning like every other morning...exhausted and wishing for much more sleep than I'd gotten. My chocolate fudge brownie colored hair sprawled across my pillow as if I had some sort of an aura around my head. My dark brown eyes scanned the room, my brain not yet reacting to the loud sound of my alarm clock screaming at me. I didn't want to go to school...we'd been fighting..and it hurt to see him. It hurt not to see him even more but...I guess it was something I had to endure. I finally rolled over and slammed my hand down on the alarm clock, making it silence as I sat up in bed, running my numb fingers through my knotty, morning-fresh hair. Last night wasn't a good night. I hated arguing, but I wanted to make things right. Ever since school had started, things felt completely wrong and..I missed him. I tried to tell him that, but I guess it only made him mad. So I decided I would stop trying. I supposed no matter how many times I thought he would be the way he was to me before, it would never be the same...people change. Whatever. I stumbled out of bed and over to my closet, leaning against the wall and sighing.
more later

Terrified.

Sometimes I just got scared. It seemed natural enough for a teenage girl to be paranoid and nervous and scared that something bad might happen, but with Bennett it was different. It wasn't that I was scared of him breaking up with me or liking some other girl. In a way, I guess I was scared of those things. But it was something more. It was just the mere thought of losing him, that made me cry myself to sleep at night. I didn't want to drift away. I wanted every night to be like the night I fell asleep in his arms. I wanted to wake up to his perfect, wonderful voice every morning. And just thinking about it, I had to smile. Because he made everything in my life perfect. Absolutely perfect. Everything just happened so quickly, I didn't know what was happening. But I think I should start from the beginning. Now you know how much I love him. Maybe you'll understand why this is so hard for me. But that's for later.

The day it all began was like any other day. It was a bitter cold December day, a few days before winter break, and walking to my high school was definitely not my most favorite part of the day; especially in this kind of weather. So, like an icicle in high fashion boots, I scurried across the high way, which, yes, I had looked both ways before crossing, was almost completely empty. I clutched my books tightly to my chest, and booked it, my heart stopping when my feet flew out from under me against the slippery ice, and my books went flying to the ditch on the side of the road. To make matters worse, as soon as I landed on the ground, I saw the bright flash of headlights in front of me. If I hadn't been already injured, I could've saved myself. Could've. I tried desperately to drag myself over to the side of the road. Guess what? It was too late? You guessed that didn't you? Yes, I get hit by a car and land myself in the hospital.

more later.

Dangerous Waters.

It felt like a million tiny pins had been shoved into my flesh as I plunged into the freezing cold water, not prepared for the icy surprise that I had just experienced. I tried to push myself to the surface, not daring to open my eyes in the bitter cold water. I wasn't a strong swimmer, I never was. I wasn't really the muscly, strong type. I was really very weak, and I didn't have the guns to swim against the strong current that was pulling me under and down the deep stream. I kept trying to push myself upwards, my lungs aching for air, but it kept pulling me back under. I need air. Now. I felt my hand above the surface as I struggled, and I searched for something; a rock, a loose tree branch, ANYTHING, to grab onto. To pull me up. To save my life. There was nothing. Only rapid, rushing water that seemed determined to kill me. I felt something hard and stable on the surface and latched my freezing, shaking fingers onto it, pulling as hard as my strength would allow. This seemed impossible. The current was dragging my frail little body behind me like a rag doll, and I couldn't hold on any longer. I STILL hadn't gotten to the surface! I swam upwards, and right before my head touched the surface, my lungs burst. I choked on the water and kicked hard as my grip on the rock was longer in tact, and I flew along with the current, closing my eyes. I knew what would happen next.

And then I woke up. My old ratty comforter twisted around me like a serpent, my sheets and pillow soaked with sweat. I sat up quickly, panting, gasping for air. The dream always seemed so real...and that was the 3rd night in a row I'd had it. It was really beginning to scare me. Was this some sort of premonition? Was I going to drown anytime soon? I swore I could feel the water...I could feel my lungs bursting. Feel the water entering my body as I began to sink the bottom. My heart stop.

Replayed Moments

A smile tugged at the edges of my pink lips, my brown eyes sparkling as they melted into his green ones, the rosy blush that burned my cheeks growing brighter as he leaned closer, pressing his forehead to mine. This was one of those moments where everything seemed perfect. Nothing in the world could ever hurt me as long as I had him...and nothing could separate me from him. He was perfect in so many ways, I couldn't even list them all in my head.
"I love you." I breathed, my voice barely audible. I knew he could hear me, though. We just..understood each other. We didn't have to say anything when we were together. We already knew all there was to know. I wished this moment would last forever.
And then the moment his lips touched mine, my mind went completely blank. This happened every time he kissed me, and he'd kissed me many times before...but it still took my breath away and there was still no possible way to think about anything. And when he pulled away, I had to take a deep breath, smiling so big I thought my jaw might break.
"And I love you, Emma." I heard him whisper, pulling me into tight hug, his arms around my waist and mine around his neck. The perfect moment. Just thinking about it made me smile. My mother had constantly found me staring into space, my head cocked to the side, and a wide smile placed upon my face. She didn't have to ask what I was thinking about anymore. It was always him.

I pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my head on my knees and smiling brightly, letting out a little giddy, childish giggle. I'd really never been this happy in my life. I constantly replayed that moment in my head. Just last week actually. He'd come to see me on my birthday, and the nurses had allowed him to take me to the beach. It was absolutely wonderful. Most definitely the best day of my life. I just wished there would be more of those. I didn't even know how much longer I had.
Yes, I am absolutely, positively, completely, madly and overwhelmingly in love.
What's the catch?
I've got Cancer.

Green Envy

"We all know you like him, why don't you tell him?" Ana's voice came from over my shoulder and I pulled my heavy science book from the top shelf of my narrow school locker, rolling my brown eyes impatiently.
"We also all know that he doesn't like me, Ana." I mumbled, not wanting to talk about him today. Not wanting to think about him...but that was impossible. He always came to mind, whether I was thinking about what I ate for lunch, or how my turtle died two years ago. He was always there. At first I'd thought it was normal considering he was a crush, and most girls did obsess over their crushes...but it never went away. No matter how much I told myself I was over him, no matter how many girlfriends he had. He was always there. I turned to face Ana, tucking a piece of too-long brown hair behind my ear and hugging my science book tightly to my chest.
"He totally likes you, Klaudia." She said, folding her arms across her graceful torso and giving me a look.
"Ana, he has a girlfriend." I snapped, slamming my locker behind me and giving her a fierce look. We gave each other these looks all the time. Everyone knew we were never mad at each other. It was a way of telling each other we were 100% serious. For real. However you wanna put that. She looked at me for a second and then burst into laughter, leaning against my locker for support and laughing harder. I giggled a little bit, rolling my deep brown eyes again and elbowing her in the ribs, only making her laugh harder.
"Ana!" I giggled, shaking my head and walking off as she continued to laugh. Ana was crazy, but she was practically my sister. We told each other everything and were constantly together. I marched down the hallway, laughing under my breath and clutching my science book tightly. I really had to learn to get some courage. I wanted to tell him, but then he might avoid me or something. I just wanted to wait until he made the move. I was too...scared I guess.
I hadn't realized I wasn't watching where I was going until I felt my feet fly out from under me and my small body land on the dirty tile with a thump. I heard laughs all around me, I felt a flush creep across my pale skin, slowly covering every little freckle on my face. I took a deep breath, glancing around for my science book and not seeing it anywhere, starting to freak out.
"Missing something?" I heard behind me, and I turned around and looked up to see him. He was standing there looking at me with a sort of humored expression, chuckling lightly to himself, holding out a hand, and I realized the other hand held my science book. I took the hand not holding my heavy peice of learning equipment (learning equipment? Why did my mind always go buzerk when I was around him?!), and stood up clumsily, trying not to fall again. He handed me my science book, and I bit my lip, wishing my fiery red cheeks would subside to their normal rosy color.
"Thanks, Jesse." I muttered, realizing I was probably blushing even more now. Everyone was staring at me like I was some kind of a freak as they passed by, and I looked down in shame. Everyone thought I was a freak...not that it changed anything. I was already the weird girl. I barely had any friends, and the friends I did have, were only my friends because I was so easy to push around. I never stood up for myself. I was independent and confident on the outside...but on the inside..I was just a scared little girl. No one seemed to see that. Whatever. I looked down, trying to avoid his big green eyes, and then I realized I hadn't let go of his hand. I quickly released it and looked up at him nervously.
"No problem." He said, his perfect crooked smile spreading across his features. I couldn't help but smile at that. He was really something.
"Hey." I heard her perky, feminine voice behind him and resisted the urge to roll my chocolate brown eyes. Of course she had to ruin the moment. She always did. I bit my lip tightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, looking like she was about to attack his face. Now that was messed up. I didn't even bother to say goodbye. I just turned and walked down the hallway and to first period, my feet dragging. What a horrible start to my day.

Silenced Love

My long bronze hair swung behind me as I took off down the hallway, the warning bell sounding and my heart thumping faster. Crap. What else could go wrong today? I woke up an hour late, missed my ride to school, had to run through the pouring rain two miles, and had soiled my entire outfit. I looked like I'd come straight out of one of those horror movies. But of course, before I could even question if anything might go wrong, I saw a little peice of paper taped to the front of my locker. I got  notes from friends all the time, but they usually stuck them inside the locker. Smart, eh? So I was curious. I ripped the folded peice of composition paper from my dull red locker and opened it quickly, emerald eyes widening as I read the familiar, sloppy handwriting.

Ana,

Sorry but I can't do this anymore. 
We gotta break up.
-Todd

It was scribbled like he'd wrote it fast too. What the hell? Of course. Of COURSE! I slammed my head against the locker which made a loud thunking noise, and then yelped as I realized I probably would have a bruise right in the middle of my forehead. Great, just great. I twisted in my combination with shaking hands, trying to keep the tears from coming. Who breaks up in a note? Taped to the front of my locker? Apparently Todd. I tried not to think of  him, and yanked open the locker, grabbing my stuff angrily, and yelping when my heavy history book landed on my foot. I jumped away from the book and bit my lip tightly, clenching my fists furiously. Seriously? I leaned over to pick up the book and heard something behind me. When I stood back up...that was when I heard it.
"Having some trouble?"
It was a boy's voice. Someone about my age, 16 or older, and he sounded like he was making fun of me. I whirled around to yell at who ever it was that dared make my morning even worse than it already was, and was startled to see that...there was no one. Great. So now you hearing things. I sighed, trying to tell myself that it was nothing and turning around to walk to my first period.
"Why in such a hurry?"
I jumped when I heard the voice again, whipping my head around to glare at whoever was playing this cruel joke on me. It was not one bit funny.
"Get the hell away from me." I muttered, turning back around, not bothering to smooth the peice of damp fiery red hair that had blocked my view on my right ride.
Then I felt it. The gentlest touch, it felt like...the wind...but it was something...and it touched my shoulder. Like someone had put a hand on my shoulder.
"Wh-" I slowly turned around, and screamed when I saw him. What the heck? Was I going crazy now?! A transparent, floating....guy! He was dressed in a Tye-Die T-shirt and bell bottom jeans. Obviously straight out of the 70's. Oh.My.Gosh. Now I was seeing things. Was I dreaming?
"shhh!" I heard him mutter, putting a finger to  his lips. I tried to slow my breathing as he gestured me to follow him into an empty classroom, and I hesitated. Should I follow him? I must've been dreaming, so it was okay. Why not elongate the adventure? So I followed him, my whole body shaking. When I walked into the classroom, he looked at me. He didn't look scary. He looked...like a normal kid. He had soft hazel eyes and a full head of curly dark hair, and he looked rather...scared? Why was he scared? I was the one going crazy. Honestly!
"I'm sorry if I scared you." He muttered, looking ashamed of himself, like he had no idea what he was doing. Then I saw something that scared me most. On the front of his tye-die shirt, he had blood stains...bright red blood stains that at first I had just thought they were part of his shirt. But now that we were alone and I wasn't in so much shock...I could see. It scared the crap out of me! Wake me up from this nightmare! I wanted to run away but I was too frozen with fear.
"Who-" before I could finish asking my question I choked, trying to catch my breath and then looking at him again, trying to concentrate on his..rather handsome face. I finally mustered up the courage to talk.
"Who are you?" I said, my teeth latching onto my lower lip tightly, my body still trembling. He studied me for a second, taking in every detail of my very unflattering appearance. I saw him chuckle to himself which only made me more angry, and then folded my arms across my chest. I wasn't afraid of him. He wasn't going to hurt me. He didn't look like a very scary person, and didn't sound like one either.
"I'm William." He finally said, walking closer to me. I could see the rest of the room...through him. And this  was really creeping me out. "Call me Will." He muttered, looking at the ground resting a hand on the desk next to where I stood.
He looked at me like he expected an answer. His brilliantly bright eyes shining curiously as he looked at me.
"Yeah, I'm dead." He muttered, rolling his eyes and giving me a crooked smile. I felt little butterflies in my stomach at this, and questioned myself. Was I getting butterflies from...a...no. I wouldn't say it. I was dreaming. This wasn't real. If it was, I was late for history and was completely screwed. And then I remembered I'd left my books laying in the middle of the hallway.
Shit.

To be added to!! :D

Just a small town girl!

I stared out the window, my hands pressed up against the icy cold glass as the rain poured down from the heavens, splashing into the huge puddles it'd already produced. We were a small town family...I'd lived in this stupid place all my life and never thought I'd ever be able to get out. Yeah...Don't stop believin'? I don't think so. I stopped believing a while ago. I sighed, turning and staring ahead of me, realizing I couldn't just sit here in the car on the side of the road. People had begun honking when they drove by, because one would have to slow down to get past me. I rolled my chocolate brown eyes, shaking my head and placing my freezing hands on the steering wheel. High School was life, I guess. In the middle of the winter, when New Jersey froze up and was covered with blankets of snow and thin sheets of ice, I had begun to hate school. I really hated living in this lonesome town. I wanted to get out..do something with my life...explore the world. I couldn't wait for my senior year of high school to be over already. Half way through...I could get through this...right?

The other side of that popular, pretty girl.

I tugged restlessly at the itchy woolen sweater my mother had forced me to wear and glanced at myself in the mirror that sat on the floor of my bedroom. I pushed my glasses lightly up the bridge of my nose, adjusting them as fit. I wanted to rip my hair out of the pigtails mother had so relentlessly forced into my mud colored hair and smooth it out so it looked at least halfway decent. But of course she'd see it and make me let her put them back in. Sometimes I hated my mom. She's a great mom, don't get me wrong, but really, sometimes I just can't stand her. I stood up, picking up my contacts case from the bottom drawer of my desk, and tucking it away into the bottom crease of my backpack. I sighed and smoothed the jeans that had managed to be still unnoticed my mother who way more excited for my first day of high school than I was. I would never fit in like this. That was why before I even go on the bus, I would rip out those pigtails, take off the glasses and get ready to express the real me. Of course after school I'd have to put everything back on. Just for mommy. I wanted to slap that woman.
'Bridgette, baby!! Time to go! come on down!!' I heard my mother's shrill voice call from downstairs, and with a silent roll of my eyes, I leapt off my bed and opened the door to my bedroom, making my way down the stairs and giving a weak, defeated smile to mom. She didn't know how much I wanted to tell her how stupid I looked. I sorta let her walk all over me. She's my mother. How can one let their own mother walk on them? Well...looks like I've achieved the impossible.
Because this was my life. Life with my crazy, physco-bitch mom. Most people take me on to be the perfect goody two shoes. But I'm definitely not. Mom doesn't know half of the real me. Ha! She doesn't know any part of the real me. I live a life behind the mask. Life at school and at home is so different. But truthfully, I'm not afraid to flaunt myself and be confident like mom thinks I am. I'm more afraid...of her. Afraid of standing up to her. Afraid of showing her...me.