Terrified.

Sometimes I just got scared. It seemed natural enough for a teenage girl to be paranoid and nervous and scared that something bad might happen, but with Bennett it was different. It wasn't that I was scared of him breaking up with me or liking some other girl. In a way, I guess I was scared of those things. But it was something more. It was just the mere thought of losing him, that made me cry myself to sleep at night. I didn't want to drift away. I wanted every night to be like the night I fell asleep in his arms. I wanted to wake up to his perfect, wonderful voice every morning. And just thinking about it, I had to smile. Because he made everything in my life perfect. Absolutely perfect. Everything just happened so quickly, I didn't know what was happening. But I think I should start from the beginning. Now you know how much I love him. Maybe you'll understand why this is so hard for me. But that's for later.

The day it all began was like any other day. It was a bitter cold December day, a few days before winter break, and walking to my high school was definitely not my most favorite part of the day; especially in this kind of weather. So, like an icicle in high fashion boots, I scurried across the high way, which, yes, I had looked both ways before crossing, was almost completely empty. I clutched my books tightly to my chest, and booked it, my heart stopping when my feet flew out from under me against the slippery ice, and my books went flying to the ditch on the side of the road. To make matters worse, as soon as I landed on the ground, I saw the bright flash of headlights in front of me. If I hadn't been already injured, I could've saved myself. Could've. I tried desperately to drag myself over to the side of the road. Guess what? It was too late? You guessed that didn't you? Yes, I get hit by a car and land myself in the hospital.

more later.

Dangerous Waters.

It felt like a million tiny pins had been shoved into my flesh as I plunged into the freezing cold water, not prepared for the icy surprise that I had just experienced. I tried to push myself to the surface, not daring to open my eyes in the bitter cold water. I wasn't a strong swimmer, I never was. I wasn't really the muscly, strong type. I was really very weak, and I didn't have the guns to swim against the strong current that was pulling me under and down the deep stream. I kept trying to push myself upwards, my lungs aching for air, but it kept pulling me back under. I need air. Now. I felt my hand above the surface as I struggled, and I searched for something; a rock, a loose tree branch, ANYTHING, to grab onto. To pull me up. To save my life. There was nothing. Only rapid, rushing water that seemed determined to kill me. I felt something hard and stable on the surface and latched my freezing, shaking fingers onto it, pulling as hard as my strength would allow. This seemed impossible. The current was dragging my frail little body behind me like a rag doll, and I couldn't hold on any longer. I STILL hadn't gotten to the surface! I swam upwards, and right before my head touched the surface, my lungs burst. I choked on the water and kicked hard as my grip on the rock was longer in tact, and I flew along with the current, closing my eyes. I knew what would happen next.

And then I woke up. My old ratty comforter twisted around me like a serpent, my sheets and pillow soaked with sweat. I sat up quickly, panting, gasping for air. The dream always seemed so real...and that was the 3rd night in a row I'd had it. It was really beginning to scare me. Was this some sort of premonition? Was I going to drown anytime soon? I swore I could feel the water...I could feel my lungs bursting. Feel the water entering my body as I began to sink the bottom. My heart stop.